Golfer: “I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.”
Caddie: “Try heaven, you’ve already moved most of the earth.”
Golfer: “Do you think my game is improving?”
Caddie: “Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now.”
Golfer: “Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?”
Golfer: “Please stop checking your watch all the time. It’s too much of a distraction.”
Caddie: “It’s not a watch – it’s a compass.”
Golfer: “This is the worst course I’ve ever played on.”
Caddie: “This isn’t the golf course. We left that an hour ago.”
Golfer: “That can’t be my ball, it’s too old.”
Caddie: “It’s been a long time since we teed off, sir.”
Golfer: “Think I’m going to drown myself in the lake.”
Caddie: “Think you can keep your head down that long?”
Golfer: ” Before I hire you, caddie, tell me, are you good at finding lost golf balls?
Caddie: “Yes sir, I am the best.
Golfer: “Great! You’re hired. Now go out and find us some golf balls so we can get started.”
Golfer: Caddie, how would you have played that last shot?
Caddie: ” Under an assumed name.”